Closet Wanted
by Novelist Pup
Summary: And it was totally obvious that InuYasha was gay for his brother. [CRACK] [Click for HOMO]


**Closet Wanted **

I have no life. I secretly ship InuYasha/Kagome really hard, so don't let this throw you off.

**Disclaimer: No.**

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Kagome Higurashi was many things.

She was smart, talented, kick-ass, pretty, had a fabulous aim, and once again, _smart_.

There forth, who the hell did InuYasha think he was fooling?

Honestly, Kagome was in the middle of a failing high school education, but the dog had _what_ education again? None. He was an uneducated idiot who doesn't even know how to sit properly.

Kagome wasn't even a dog person.

She had a cat for God's sake. A _cat_! Not a dog named Butch, a cat named Buyo.

Although, InuYasha might've been a bit more awesome if his name _was_ Butch.

But whatever, InuYasha's name was indeed InuYasha, and he wasn't getting any cooler. Or smarter. Maybe cuter, but not really. You can't really get better-looking when it takes a couple of hundred years to look a year older.

Yet Kagome digresses, because her point is that she's not dense, she's not dull, and she's not dumb.

There was something about InuYasha that she couldn't place. Something strange and awkward, but with a touch of fruity flavor…

Something… really g—

"Kagome!"

Kagome snapped out of her trance and looked dazedly at the half-demon that loomed over her. "Oh… What's up, Butch?"

InuYasha made a weird face. "Butch? Is this more of your future terminology?"

And Kagome wondered exactly how the hell did InuYasha know the word terminology? She must've taught to him when she was teaching him how to read.

"No, it's just a nickname. What did you want?" she asked. InuYasha plopped ungracefully on the ground in front of her. He fingered his gaudy sleeves nervously as a blush spread across his cheeks.

"Well… it's a bit personal, but I think I feel safe telling you this," he began. Kagome felt the puzzle pieces moving in an extremely speedy manner as she picked up on the little things in his mannerisms. The blush, the outfit, the long and flowing hair, and even the _ears_!

It was so obvious! "You have a crush don't you?" Wait, she didn't mean to ask that! She meant to ask the other question, the less vague one.

InuYasha snorted. "_Fabulous_. You already know!"

Did he just say "_Fabulous_"? Kagome felt the last puzzle piece click into place.

InuYasha was incredibly, inevitably, absolutely—

"Gay."

"Excuse me?" the dog asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Kagome rolled her eyes as though it were _so_ obvious. Oh wait, it _was_. "You're gay, InuYasha."

InuYasha blinked. "I guess I am. What does gay mean again?"

Kagome looked at him in amazement. Was Feudal Japan really so old school? And then she looked around at the forest she was currently hanging out in, and decided that yes, it was.

"It means homosexual."

"Which means…?"

"You love men. You heart your brother more than a brother."

InuYasha nodded in understanding. "Oh okay."

Kagome was amazed. Was he really not going to kill her for even thinking about him smiling at his brother?

And so she said this to him, making InuYasha chuckle deeply.

"Oh hell yes I'm going to kill you. You just said I was _gay_, and for my brother of all people!"

"Sit boy." Man that was getting boring. Maybe Kagome should meet up with Kaede and request some new tricks. Like "shake" or "roll over" or even "play dead". Now _those_ would be fun.

"InuYasha, it's obvious you're gay," the dog demon opened his mouth to comment. "Don't even _start_ with me. You didn't even know what gay meant until I broke it down for you. You are completely gay for your brother. Get over it."

InuYasha sputtered and clenched his fists. "I'm not gay for my brother!"

Miroku and Sango chose that moment to come soaring down to the camp on Kirara.

"Who's gay for whose brother?" Sango asked interestedly.

Kagome pointed at the red-faced dog demon. "He's gay for his brother."

Miroku frowned. "You're gay for your brother?"

"I'M NOT GAY FOR MY BROTHER!"

Kagome sighed wistfully. "He's so gay for his brother."

Shippo popped out of her backpack, face smeared with chocolate. "I heard InuYasha was gay for his brother, right?"

Kagome pulled him out the backpack by the underarms. "Yes he is gay for his brother, and what have I told you about eating my candy?"

"Shippo! Don't listen to her! I'm not gay for my brother!"

Kagome looked at them all. "See how gay he is for his brother?"

InuYasha shrieked and lunged at Kagome. "I'M NOT FUCKING GAY FOR MY BROTHER!"

And suddenly Sesshomaru (who was just idly stalking InuYasha and passing by completely coincidentally) cocked an eyebrow in question. "You're gay for me?"

Kagome thought InuYasha had a heart attack, the way he just stopped in midair with the most horrific look on his face she'd ever seen.

And she saw him when he walked into a girl's washroom.

"Sesshomaru!" the half-demon choked.

The other dog nodded. "Indeed, that is this Sesshomaru's name. And tell me; are you truly gay for me?"

Kagome nodded. "Absolutely, look at the way his ears perk up in your presence," she looked pensive for a moment. "In fact, that could be the closest thing to an erection you're going to get out of him…"

InuYasha sputtered and Sesshomaru sighed.

"Filthy half-breed, I'm sorry to say that I'm not interested. You can't bear pups, and you smell like a dog,"

The younger brother snorted. "Well that's fine with me, since I'm not even gay for you."

Kagome perked up. Not even? That must mean that he's gay for someone else!

"Who are you gay for then?" she asked excitedly. Man she couldn't wait to get home and get to her computer, with INTERNET.

InuYasha blushed and fiddled with his sleeves some more. Everyone looked at him, in hopes of finding out who he was TRULY gay for.

"Well, I'm gay for _you_, Kagome!"

Everyone groaned. That was such a disappointment. Especially since Sango was secretly hoping that he'd be gay for Miroku and Kagome was rooting for Kouga.

InuYasha scowled. "Oh come on! Did you think I'd be gay for my _father_ or something?"

Kagome blinked. Wow, she never thought of that one. She made a mental memo of men that InuYasha could get his homo on with.

Kagome smiled wistfully as Naraku was tacked onto the wish. "I love the Feudal Era."

"Does that mean you love me?" InuYasha asked, trying to conceal his excitement.

Kagome smiled at him.

"Of course not. I'm not a dog person."

**END**

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My first impression of InuYasha four years ago was very simple, and had a big effect on this fanfic.

I thought he was a **COMPLETE DUMBASS**.

He wasn't smart to me. He was…stupid.

This is why everyone else knows what gay means, EXCEPT for Dumbass-Yasha.

Sesshomaru came across me as a **STALKER PEDOPHILE**.

He scared me for a good chunk of the series, until the third movie. Then he was upgraded to **STALKER PEDOPHILE WITH INCESTUOUS QUALITIES**. Hey, he's moving up in life.

(I also had a big crush on Kagome, but I got over it once I began to hate Kikyo.)


End file.
